HOW TO CHOOSE FRIENDS THAT ADD CORE VALUE TO YOUR LIFE
F – Fight for you
R – Respect you
I – Include you
E – Encourage you
N – Need you
D – Deserve you
S – Stands by you
In
this edition of our Win to Last
Ideas, let me start with this important quote by Bamidele Onibalusi, one of the
most successful bloggers in Nigeria, “As
writers what we write can save lives, grow businesses and change lives…what we
do is having a real impact on the world.”
Friendship
is one of the basic things we shouldn’t take for granted. Many people have been
seriously slowed down, had their dreams aborted or even had their lives wrecked
because of the mistake they made in the choice of their friends.
Dr.
Isaiah Hankel writes that there is scientific proof that 50 percent of our
friends are fake. He highlighted a study done by University of Tel Aviv and MIT
that showed that though 95 percent of participants thought that their
relationships were reciprocal, it was found out that only about 50 percent of
friends were reciprocal. Meaning that many of the friends we believe that they
are our closest and best friends have “unidirectional” instead of “bidirectional”
relationship. They never reciprocate our love and care.
Dr.
Hankel explains this to signify that even some of our “best” friends don’t want
what is good for us. Some of our best friends, therefore, are misjudged choices
we made.
How
then can we choose friends that are best and add core value to our lives?
(1) The
primary requirement for finding a true and dependable friend is to habitually
show yourself as one. It was Thomas Aquinas who said that “There is nothing on
this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”
(2)
Associate with habitually positive
friends. They always see something good in you; always appropriately rate your
potential; always believe that you can progress with your vision; always
encourage you to move on, and so on.
(3)
True friends are unconditional. They
are always there for you even when it is not convenient, always supportive of
you even when it is at a price they have to pay.
(4) Real friends
always challenge you to do more.
They make you stretch to pursue the dream, start or grow the business, or
accomplish the task. Henry Ford said, “My
best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.”
(5)
Your best friend will always have fair
and honest financial dealings with you. This point is very important. Any
“friend” that can’t keep financial promises with you, often tricks you or tells
you lies when it comes to money, is fake.
(6)
Real friends will never betray you. The saddest thing about betrayal is that it
never comes from your enemies; it always comes from your friends.
Best
friends are those ones that add more value to your life. With them you discover
that you are better, and have made more progress than you had made before you
met them.
Tom
Rath in Vital Friends writes that
true friendship will benefit you in many important ways namely, if your friends
are healthy, you are 5 times more likely to be healthy and if you have a friend
that is good at work, you are 7 times more likely to be engaged in your job. True friendship is a commitment to get along
with someone in the spirit of making him or her think better, know more, do
more, and keep growing.
If
a friend is a consistent minus to your life, then you may need to review that
relationship. Sentimentally keeping a relationship that is not adding core
value to your life may destroy your destiny. Great people make great choices of
friends and associations.
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